I have been married twice and had fantastic wedding days on both occasions, but my second wedding day in particular stands out in my mind as being the most joyous, the most personal, the most emotional and therefore the most memorable.
The fact that one day is more memorable than the other is no reflection on either of my relationships' or on the length of time elapsed since the first. I will try and explain what made one day stand out above the other and hopefully you will be able to take something from this to make sure your own wedding day is as special.
My first wedding was as a 20 something young woman. I was still living at home, my husband to be was working abroad and my parents were paying for the wedding. This seemed to have a big influence on how the whole day panned out.
Now don't get me wrong, my parents were fantastic and not at all the pushy type, but still, decisions seemed to be a 3 way thing, with my future husband, of his own volition, going along with pretty much anything that was suggested.
I didn't know my future in-laws well at all, in fact I only met them once or twice before the wedding and unfortunately I didn't really recognise the need to involve them in our plans. So needless to say, because of a lack of communication between families some issues became fraught in the run up to the big day.
My husband's lack of involvement meant that I ended up with a practically text book and formal but beautiful wedding day in a fantastic venue, dressed in a beautiful and expensive dress. The Priest was stern and pretty disconnected - he didn't really know us. We had a very formal sit down 'do' in the afternoon with 'rack of lamb' (I don't know what possessed us) and a disco in the evening with a buffet.
The wedding pictures reflect that everyone had a good time and capture bride, groom and guests looking happy and enjoying themselves. But even at the time I didn't feel any strong emotion when looking back on the day, other than to think how lovely it all was.
My second wedding was as a 40 something older lady and being second time round we were paying for it ourselves. My partner and I had discussed what we wanted, which was something personal and low key. We decided on our tiny Village Church and the Village Hall for the 'do'. My dress was still beautiful - but red this time and the ceremony itself was full of laughter and love Herve Leger.
We had got to know our priest and he made the ceremony personal to us. We sat facing the congregation, except for the vows and felt that everyone was taking part with us. We even got a round of applause as my husband kissed the bride (me).
We were driven from the Church to the Village Hall in our next door neighbours pony and trap decorated with fresh flowers (the pony was blind in one eye - and it was difficult to stop it from going round in circles!) Once there we had a basic buffet, a band made up of my husband's colleagues who insisted on 'participation', a set of songs by another semi-professional singer neighbour and then a disco and karaoke.
The DVD shows everyone having a great time, letting their hair down, hugging, kissing, laughing and acting the clown Karen Millen Colourblock bandage dress. In the Church, you can practically feel the emotion oozing out of the DVD and the pictures are not at all formal. We watch the DVD as often as we can because it makes us feel happy and emotional.
The real difference between the two days I think was because the second one was about the people and not about the event. We were surrounded by people who mattered to us and not distant relatives we had never met. We concentrated on the important things - how to share our happiness with everyone else - and not what did the invitations look like or what table decorations should we have Herve Leger Cap Sleeve Dresses.
So, please think long and hard about how you can make your wedding day your own and don't allow yourself to get swept into other people's ideas or feel that you have to be traditional. The most important thing is how you will remember your big day in years to come - so spend some time thinking about what is really important to you.
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